The Weekly Classifieds

Freewilling It

noreply@blogger.com (Blood in my Eyes) — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 23:32:00 +0000

I wrote this about my Philosophy subject.

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I hope to find there is no freewill.

It's just something made up in movie reels.

I never had a choice in breaking your heart.

It was predestined right from the start.

I hope to find we have no choices.

No guiding lights, no help voices.

I broke all engagements, and as you've probably guessed,

I just couldn't help it.

Wouldn't it be a love to have freewill?

To know I chose you right from the start.

Yeah, wouldn't it be a life to have freewill?

To know I was the one to forget you, and break your heart.

Dear Frank

noreply@blogger.com (Blood in my Eyes) — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 02:33:00 +0000

I think my blog is a graduated diary. I never liked diaries, though I had a neon-colored one with a unicorn on it in my youth. Every journal I own is blank, or filled with scribbles of good intentioned thoughts that disappear by the stroke of my marker after a few minutes.

If I did own a diary it would probably sound more grown up. I would discuss the economy and the rising gas prices. I would have to name it of course, that way instead of saying "Dear Diary" I could write "Dear Frank".

Dear Frank,

My co-worker's party invitation for me must have gotten lost in the mail again.

xoxo,

Deb

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I've returned to Kroger. I like it so much more this time around. I still work in Seafood but I have a new happiness this time. Perhaps I'm just a gluten for steamed-shrimp punishment. It's not likely that all my co-workers feel the same way, but I love each one of them.

I find that I even like the customers a little more now. A few weeks ago I was stocking the shelves with crab meat when a lady came up to me asking for advice on cocktail sauce. After I gave her my opinion on the best buy, she looked up at me and asked if I was a Christian. When I answered her that I am, she tearfully looked up at me and asked if I would please pray for her daughter who was dying of cancer. Her daughters name is Mary. Please pray too.

Grocery stores seem to be breeding grounds for the lonesome. They're often the only stores open past ten. I remember when I would walk around the local Food Lion or Wal-Mart because I was too lonely stop my racing mind and sleep. I wonder at times how many others are there because they have no other place to go.

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I'm pulling an Alex Skidmore blogging style with all these lines between my random thoughts.

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Upcoming Events: July 13th Bob Dylan in concert. July 16-21 NC (Bojangles here I come.)

xoxo,

Deb

Ch-ch-ch-changes.

noreply@blogger.com (Blood in my Eyes) — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 23:54:00 +0000

New "favorite" things coming soon! Full with new photos and explanations. And by soon I mean later tonight if I feel up to it.

Albums That Changed My Life (A Little Late)

noreply@blogger.com (Blood in my Eyes) — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 03:59:00 +0000

Bob Dylan - "Bringing it All Back Home" My last year in Haiti I discovered this little gem and "Never Looked Back" (Dylan fans will get that.) This album made me fall in love with the art of songwriting, and it was the first time I picked up the guitar. It's my favorite album, and it changed my life the most.

Death Cab for Cutie - "Photo Album" It seems like I listened to this album on every drive back from the beach. Whenever I hear beach sounds, or have a sunburn I also hear songs from Photo Album playing in my head.

Bob Dylan - "Modern Times" My Bob Dylan obsession suddenly stopped with this album. Not that this album wasn't good, it was great. I just finally saw him as a normal artist again. I remember cruising in Wilmington, N.C. with this blasting in my Saab. Right before it would die.

Hopefully a new artist will impress me soon, but for now I'm happy with the "life changing" albums I have.

Justice in New Life

noreply@blogger.com (Blood in my Eyes) — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 03:12:00 +0000

Fresh eyes, and a new life.

I know I would choose you again.

New souls, and new bodies.

Please let me be apart of your plans.

I was born to love of you.

New friends, and new families.

New loves, and new heartaches.

You are my best friend,

You'll love me no matter what it takes.

I was born to run to you.

I swam across lake Geneva.

Cold wind on my back.

If I should grow weary

I think of you on the shoreline.

One look, in your eyes

And I know you're same in death as in life.

I was born to die with you.

Just Like I Said

noreply@blogger.com (Blood in my Eyes) — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 00:38:00 +0000

Lord let me die in my tracks.

Slay me where I stand.

Do not give me the time to look back.

And reflect on what a waste this life has been.

You can put me any where you want to.

I cannot move.

Lord, let me die in my tracks.

A weary son, who was once a man.

Update

noreply@blogger.com (Blood in my Eyes) — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 19:43:00 +0000

Yesss. I finally have an excuse to update .. oh never? So, Christmas day or so my loving cat Franklin, dumped a glass of water all over my computer. I can't use it anymore. That being said, I'm at the library. I could update from my iphone, but a that's just rediculas.

Here is what's new in my life.

New Job! Woo. I work for Tolle Lege Press (reformationbookstore.com) & Pack and Ship. .. Actually I don't know the name. That's sad. They have like 20 million different names though. I just know I do a lot of paper work. Also, I help spread Good Republican Cheer all around the Nation (partiotdepot.com) So, go ahead, order a few hundred "Palin 2012/Keep the Change" stickers and I'll pack them right up for you. Well, I'll probably just do the paperwork.

School! Yeah, I'm finally in school at Fairmont University. I love my World History II teacher. He has to have some sort of voice disorder, because he talks very loudly. (And a little bit softer now, and a little bit softer now.) He's a Vietnam veteran and has already told us he expects 15 papers out of us by the end of this term in addition the the other papers, quizzes, test, exams, and volunteer work he has planned for us.

Well, I think that's about all that's changed in my life. See you next year, when I determine the best albums of 2009!

Top Albums of 2008

noreply@blogger.com (Blood in my Eyes) — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 21:25:00 +0000

10. Ray LaMontagne - Gossip in the Grain: I really don't think this album is that great. I just needed a number 10. Don't get my wrong, I love RaycharlesLamontagne but I wasn't super impressed with this album.

9. Bob Dylan - Tell Tale Signs: At first I told myself that I wouldn’t put this album on my list. I thought if I added it to my top 10 list, I would be doing it because I’m biased and love Bob Dylan. I’ve grown to love this album more and more over the months, and now and can add it to my list because I believe it truly is one of the best albums of this year. You have to know you’re gold when you can put an album together full of your “old thrown out songs” and it still be a classic. Best song of the album is “Dreamin’ of You”

8. Coldplay - Viva La Vida (Death & All His Friends): I enjoyed this album, but I would love to beg Coldplay to never make another music video for this album, or at least fire their current video producer. I mean have you seen Viva la Vida’s video ... it leaves me a bad speechless. My favorite song is “Violet Hill” because of the beautiful piano part at the end.

7. Jon Foreman - Spring: I feel like a fake Foreman fan, because I never liked Switchfoot but really enjoy his solo works. My favorite song off the album is “In My Arms.”

6. The Weepies - Hideaway: I’ve grown to love the Weepies more and more as 2008 comes to a close. I think their lyrics and melodies are beautiful. By far, they are the best husband and wife duo that I’ve heard. My favorite songs are “Antarctica” and “How You Survived the War.”

5. Radiohead - In Rainbows: Technically this album came out January 1st. Also, I didn’t get it until February so it counts. “Weird Fishes/Arpeggi” tops my favorites list. I can’t listen to this album without thinking of being in Haiti last Christmas.

4. RuRu - Elizabeth: This is RuRu’s debut album, and it sounds like he’s been writing for 30 years. His cd is constantly in my car’s cd player. I adore the songs “West Virginia,” “Excuse,” and “House of Cards.”

3. Ryan Adams & the Cardinals - Cardinology: This is by far the most played album of this year. I sadly know how to do all the guitar parts (with my mouth - I can’t play the guitar that well.) My Cardinology addictions are "Fix It" and "Sink Ships."

2. Joshua James - The Sun is Always Brighter: I might be jumping the gun a little with these last two picks. I’ve only been listening to them for maybe 2 weeks. I think this album is absolutely beautiful and is perfect to listen to in this chilly winter weather. My favorite picks are “Dangerous” and “Winter Storm.”

1. Josh Garrels - Jacaranda: My brother John introduced me to this guy a couple of weeks ago and I’m so glad he did! Josh Garrels comes from Waxhaw, NC and has produced the most beautiful cd I’ve heard all year. His words make sense and hold great conviction, which is not a common thing among musicians these days. It's hard to pick a favorite song, but I love "Don't Wait for Me."

Check out these people for some different opinions: Gabe and Luis.

That’s my 2008 best albums list. Now, I encourage you to leave your list on my comments.... oh come on. Merry Christmas.

I Can Dream.

noreply@blogger.com (Blood in my Eyes) — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 03:06:00 +0000

I'd like to meet the following people.

Alive & Kicking:

Bob Dylan - was my first real influence into music and writing. I was obsessed with him! I would buy polka dot shirts and striped paints and eat up his every word like cotton candy. I was probably the exact kind of fan that he hated, but if we ever get to chit chat I'll act cool and leave out that part of my fascination with him.

Frank McCourt - is the author of Angela's Ashes, and Tis. Both of which I've read. His stories draw me in and I find that I have a lot in common with him, besides growing up in Ireland during the depression, having most of your family members die, having a drunken father, having scabby eyes, and almost getting molested by priest of course.

Steve Nash - As my brother Gabe mentioned in his blog - I'm a diehard fan of the Phoenix Suns. I flew through Phoenix last March but it just left me saying "I'm here Mr. Nash, and where are you?"

Beyond the Grave:

Jesus - Obviously. If I'm not meeting Him when I die, I'm in a big lump of trouble.

John F. Kennedy - "Alright, who killed you?" "What do you mean you don't know?!" (Too soon?)

Honorable Mentions:

Ryan Adams

C.S. Lewis

Oprah (don't ask..)

Fionn Regan

David Schimmer (Yes, from Friends.)

Jude Law (He's in my favorite movie!)

Paul McCartney (The last Beatle I actually care about.)

Joan Baez

Leo Tolstoy

I'd love to know who you (readers) would like to meet!

You Have Returned

noreply@blogger.com (Blood in my Eyes) — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 02:59:00 +0000

The waters keep our ship wading.

But with love on the shore,

It only keeps me waiting.

Mr. Bojangles (He'll Dance for You)

noreply@blogger.com (Blood in my Eyes) — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 03:17:00 +0000

Since everyone in the world is road-tripping across America this summer and blogging about it, I guess I will blog about my own successful little trip. Last Friday after work I made the first leg of my trip to Greensboro, NC. I got lost, and wound up there 3 hours later than expected (2:30 in the morning.) So, I bought a hotel room not wanting to wake the friend I had originally planned to stay with. Of course when I got there I wasn't tired and watched hours of Monk. Man, do I love the obsessive compulsive. The next morning I rose to drive the remainder of the trip to Topsail Island, NC where my family was staying.

Whenever I think of North Carolina, I remember these things A) Humid Weather, B) Family, & C) Bojangles! For those who aren't aware what the Bojangles is, it's the Southern answer to McDonald's. Any Southern comfort you can think of Bojangles offers it, with twice the fat!
I was determined to fill my mouth with the 4 piece chicken supreme dinner the next time I went to NC. My family was a little unsure and suspicious about my extreme love for such a place. With a little prodding, I was able to convince them to order some Bojangles. I'm sure it was the best meal of their lives, and I'm so glad I was able to save their souls from being in a Bojangless-Limbo.

My favorite part (and perhaps the only part I like) of driving back to WV are the two tunnels you get to go through! I like tunnels. It's a tradition for most people to try to hold their breath the whole way through the tunnel. I've only won this game by cheating. It's a great Milestone to let you know you're half way there, and I often wonder when I pass under them "If Princess Diana could have driven through this tunnel, how fast would she have gone?" Too soon?

* These Photos were not taken by me, I stole them from google because I forgot my camera charger when I went to NC*

Let Me Wine & Dine You.

noreply@blogger.com (Blood in my Eyes) — Tue, 20 May 2008 13:49:00 +0000

..I just found this in my drafts. Wow. Anyways, enjoy.

I love to save money. Hopefully not enough to make me a coupon nazi at Krogers in my later days, but enough to keep me floating comfortably on my paychecks. So here are a few ways I've managed to enter some of my friends cheap lists.

1.) Ramen Noodles - Cancer in a packet for every young adult. You can spice up these meals with some cayenne pepper or spicy chinese mustard (both happen to be lying around in the kitchen at my work!)

2) So you've got a giant tumor in you from the Ramen Noodles and you want something healthy? Bananas are wonderful and cheap, ok not wonderful but cheap.

3.) It's true that man can not live off of Ramen Noodles and bananas alone. So, show your friends your classy side and go to Applebees, those appetizers are half off Sunday-Thursday 4-7 & 9-closing!

4.) Now, my friends & coworkers drink enough coke to kill small child, so I collect their coke rewards and treat myself to a free blockbuster movie!

5.) Your duds are looking a little out of date and shabby? Go to Goodwill and buy someone else's old getups and redo them.

Dreamer in My Dreams

noreply@blogger.com (Blood in my Eyes) — Thu, 15 May 2008 01:38:00 +0000

I've always had weird dreams, but rarely can I remember them. Lately I've been having recurring dreams about looking like this guy (George Hamilton.) It's my body with his face. It's horrifying to say the least.

Half of the people can be part right all of the time,
Some of the people can be all right part of the time.
But all the people can't be all right all the time
I think Abraham Lincoln said that.
"I'll let you be in my dreams if I can be in yours,"
I said that.

- Bob Dylan

"Dreams, Dreams, Dreams. Boy do I got a lot of dreams. Good Poem."

- Jim Gaffigan

Rainy Saturdays

noreply@blogger.com (Blood in my Eyes) — Sun, 11 May 2008 22:22:00 +0000

Yesterday I was on a quest to cook the perfect lunch. So, here is the winner.

Steak salad with honey mustard dressing.

Cornbread with jalapenos, creamed corn, cheddar, and sour cream.

Chocolate & coconut scones.

Scones with strawberries & whip cream filling.

Fragmentary

noreply@blogger.com (Blood in my Eyes) — Thu, 08 May 2008 01:40:00 +0000

This goes to a song I play on the piano. Yes, lyrics. Let's go to hot topic now and buy each other neon colored shoes.

Oh, what a beautiful morning,

Until he rushed in with the news.

I'm sorry dear but your dreams have died.

There was nothing that I could do.

You shouldn't invest your hopes & fears

Into someone in a hospital room.

Let's go back.

From your death to your birth.

Let's get on get on track.

And recreate your verve.

Forget what the doctors said,

Forget your weary soul,

Leave it laying cold in the hospital bed.

I can change things,

Life won't take it's toll.

I can pick & choose,

I will play your role.

Oh, what a beautiful mourning.

It's Been Real?

noreply@blogger.com (Blood in my Eyes) — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 03:47:00 +0000

My temporary job as a ‘scan technician’ at Petroleum Development Corp. seems to be coming to an end. I’ve been there for almost 10 months. The project I’ve been working on involves scanning documents from the 1970’s to 2007 that were almost lost in a flood. I scan them, then name them - just incase they ever need it or get happen to get sued.

It’s weird to know that I won’t make the drive there and get off on Jerry Dove exit. Almost every morning for the last 10 months I’ve walked in with the same person everyday. His names Al, and he is in a band. Most of the older ladies like Al because he has a Beatle’s hair-do.

Everyday at 2:15 I make my way to the front desk where I help myself to candy laid out so nicely at the secretary’s desk. Hey, she doesn’t mind. The secretary (Kim) is also a temporary assistant. She applied and interviewed for the job after working there for 2 months but was denied. She has one week left. Kim is one of the nicest ladies I’ve ever met. She will call back to my office and check on me and make sure everyone is treating me nicely. She’s even bought me lunch. Kim loves to sit in the kitchen which has a wide window that overlooks a building under construction with it’s many pieces of eye candy. She warns me not to look out the window unless I want to see “Bubba’s Butt Clevage.” I pray that life treats her as kindly as she treats me.

Lynda works on the same project as me, and reminds me so much of my mom.

She’s never been under 10 minutes late, and then has to have her morning coffee before she can begin any work. The knowledge of Lynda’s love of coffee extends far throughout the building. She has dozens of people that stop in all day long to tell her that they made a pot of the “good stuff.” During the e-coli scare here last month she walked in and said “this coffee is awful! Not because of e-coli or anything but just because it’s terrible.” She brings me lunch & breakfast often. I always insist that she’s going to keep me fat, but it might be her way of paying me off so I gobble it down anyway. She insists on educating me on WV cuisine, with it’s fine delicacies such as “Ramps” & “Soup Beans.” I think Lynda & I are good for each other. She listens to my boring stories and laughs, and I show her how to recover all the files she just deleted by accident on the computer.

I’m sure in time I’ll forget most of the characters that make up my 8 hour days at PDC. It will all seem like a far off dream. I’ll be lucky if they even remember me. Frankly, I’m lost on where to go next, but can only hope that I will be as lucky at getting a job with as many great people as PDC has.

*Update

I was recently suggested for a position at Phillips' Construction Company. I've been hired. It's for 5 months (while they build a hotel), the pay is much better, I'm no longer a temp, & I get furnished a nice pickup truck to drive. I am a secretary/gofer. I'll be completely done at PDC by next Friday.

Dream-time Radio Hour.

noreply@blogger.com (Blood in my Eyes) — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 04:54:00 +0000

I see a spark.

A fire set that none can snuff.

Nor the rain calm

As you became engulfed.

The sirens will wale,

The people will fail,

And all will know, that a glint of fire was once enough.

I see the smoke.

That crawled out your gun.

Though the trigger pressed,

The children did not run.

Laughter billowed out of each of their lungs.

They did not fear you,

So your head was hung.

I see the oak tree,

With it's roots carved in the ground.

Though they twisted & pulled,

There was no water to be found.

The pillars of branches stood in decay,

With only a nest where a sparrow once lay.

I don't know if it's likely to happen.

But, it's just a dream I've been having.

What Kind of Friend is This?

noreply@blogger.com (Blood in my Eyes) — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 00:34:00 +0000

I want the weary, the abused, the downtrodden, homeless, bedridden people to consider me a friend. I want to cloth them, lift them up, care for them, and feed them. These things, Christ has done for me, and He gives me the privilege of doing it for others.

Week One: An idea sparked in my head, which prompted me to start two lists. One list included names of friends, relatives, co-workers, & strangers. The second list is of kind things I want to do for all of the people on list one. I don't want these things to be a thing I do every once in a while when I need some Jesus points when I'm feeling down. I want this to be a continual thing, so I've been trying to figure out ways to keep these projects going everyday of the year.

Week two: All week I've been calling hospitals in the area getting ready for this project I've undertaken. I've been asking if I could come in and visit the patients that don't get visitors. I told them I want to bring my guitar and play & sing, a couple books to read to them if they want, and some flowers. I've never been so excited for anything in my life.

I've been afraid to tell anyone my plans because I don't want you to think I need a spiritual pat on the back. I'm sharing this with you now because I want you to know that I will do anything for you, if your in need a friend. If you need me to do anything just let me know. Also, I wouldn't mind having some company when I do some of these things on my list.

The Bigger Than Myself List:

1.) Prepare meals for busy mom's so all they have to do is stick it in the oven.

2.) Leave random notes of gratitude on waitress/waiter's table.

3.) Prepare breads, desserts for others.

4.) Pay for the person behind me at a toll.

5.) Buy someone's lunch randomly.

6.) Offer to clean someone's house or car.

7.) Visit hospitals for the patients who don't have any visitors.

8.) Hand write letters, prayers, poems for friends.

9.) Offer to sew, patch, or hem whatever cloths might need repairs.

10.) When an opportunity comes to bless someone, actually do it.

Untitled Story: Part I

noreply@blogger.com (Blood in my Eyes) — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 05:45:00 +0000

I wanted to write a story from three different perspectives. What it would be like to be the victim, to be the victimizer, and the person left with the choice to be the bystander who watches and does nothing, or intervenes with the chance of loosing everything. That being said, here's the story I've been working on. Part I.

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A man entered the room swiftly approaching the a young boy's hospital bed. His new polished shoes shined and squeaked with every step. "I understand you have a story to tell me" he said to boy. His voice boomed across the room, he was a foreigner, most likely American and did not match the quiet meek culture that he was now surrounded by. "I guess I do" the boy repeated. The tape recorder clicked and he set it on the table. "What was the first thing you remember?"

I walked down the steep mountain to pick up my sisters from school, the holes in my sandals stretching more and more to the sharp rocks beneath me. The walk takes me about two hours, but Ti Mano told me a car could get there in 5 minutes. I've heard great things, and speculations about vehicles I haven't been in one yet though.

Reporter: If you don't mind sticking to the basics, I've got 5 other people to interview.

Boy: Right. I arrived at the school, but had been banned from entering because of the state of my shoes. I walked across L street, the main bustling street in Cap Haitian, and sat down on the curb. The cars flew down the street passing the tap taps who slowed at every corner to let passengers exit or enter. Vendors & street merchants were moving as steadily as a river down the busy streets. The smell of freshly roasted cashews struck my nostrils. My stomach churned, eating at itself, begging to be fed. I remembered how that morning I had secretly forked my food on my mother's plate. She would very disappointed if she knew, but Ti Mano told me chicken feet was good for the sick. I shoved my hand into my pockets, empty, always empty. My sisters emerged from the school doors and we began are return, but my eyes remained fixated on the sweet cashews. I was determined to earn 3 gordes, that's all they would cost me, but it would take a lifetime for me to earn.

Reporter: Three gordes? Is that even penny?

Boy: Everyday, when my I picked my sisters up my stomach ached and shouted at me to eat. Weeks went by, and the smell taunted me. Until one day on my walk I saw something shine from underneath the pebbles. Three gordes! What are the chances? Those buttery nuts were mine! I strutted to vendor as my heart beat with pride. I announced what I wanted, unsure if I was living this moment. She raised her eyebrows for a second, but soon started scooping them into a brown paper bags. Three gordes she said. I reached in to my pocket and pulled out two, feeling for the third one, but felt a hole instead. My heart sank, and the lady became impatient. I have it I promise, I do. "You don't have anything" she roared, "not even a decent pair of shoes, step aside for my real customers!" I shamefully walked back to my curb, my shoes squeaking in-step. There was no doubt that I was living this moment.

I watched the vendor from the corner of my eye, her large chins bouncing while she pointed and told the story again and again to her friends. She turned her back for a few seconds, and a wild thought crossed my mind. I shook my head vigorously. I could never steal it, the price to pay would be too high. My stomach roared and my mind suggested the thought again. No. I can't. My legs obviously didn't hear my mind though, because they were transporting me back over to the vendor. Her back was still turned, and she was deeply occupied with something else. The vending cart stood directly in front of me now and I clinched the brown bag still full with my cashews. I put the two gordes down swiftly just incase someone was watching to make it appear like I had paid. I drew my hand backed but this time it was something that had clinched me. The vendor was staring down at me while her finger nails dug into my skin. Thief! Vile child! Thief! My mind shut down, and my eyes ceased to work out of fear.

Boy: I felt rocks scraping my knees, my mouth filled with dirt. I was on the ground, the back of my head throbbing. My tongue began to swell and I could taste the blood and sweat in my mouth. I was surrounded by a swarm of people who I knew but could not remember. I had lost all sense of direction & placement. My eyes filled with dust and I could hardly focus, but I caught site of a girls red dress as it blew softly in the wind. My eyes refocused and I caught site of this man's blue shoes. None of this helped me. People were shouting and kicking me, but I didn't know why. A woman reached down with long blackened finger nails and picked me up by the collar, it was then I knew exactly where I was. The vendor was shouting at a man while he tied a noose around my neck and dragged me to the nearest tree. The crowd followed closely chanting "Hang Him! Thief! Thief!" as they tied the rope to the tree. Before, these trees had seemed to sing joyfully, or the branches would rock back and forth in conversation but now the wind seemed to echo mournfully pushing through them, and the branches cracked and moaned.

There was silence for a few minutes. The tape recorder hummed as the wheels turned furiously. Boy: I'm sorry, I think that's all I can remember.

Reporter: So you have no idea how you got here?

Boy: No, no ideas at all.

If You're Not Showing Them Jesus, You're Showing them Satan.

noreply@blogger.com (Blood in my Eyes) — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 01:19:00 +0000

I find myself wanting to tell people off. Not the tongue lashing that you would see on Scrubs, and not one to demote people to a lesser grade to human existence. I just want to let people know that I'm worthy enough to stand up for myself. This desire has always been seeping through a crack in my heart, but after this week it's been a flood. I should start from the beginning.

This week I was asked by a lady (Bernie) to help out on a project at work. I have never gotten along with this woman, but felt I could not decline. I worked with her over the summer, every morning she would great me "hey when are you going to apply for a real job?" I'd reply "When I become a real person." I'd then go on about how my batteries were bothering me and could she find an outlet for me to plug into. She was never amused. Bernie is the type of person that claims she's always joking, but never is funny, and that she's always up for a good joke, but never laughs. Once I made a lame joke about suing a duck (I'm not going to repeat the joke) and she told me that I needed to grow up. By the end of the summer I was convinced she was evil.

After summer I found myself in a different room, with friendlier people and I hardly saw Bernie. The times I did, she was polite and asked how I was. If the conversation was more than 15 seconds though, she would snidely ask where I've applied lately. When I answered "The Exponent Times" she laughed and said "Yeah, like that's ever going to happen."

The leaves fell, snow poured, and I forgot about Bernie until Monday. I knew agreeing to help was a terrible idea the moment she brought my first stack of papers to sift through. Monday was decent, but Tuesday when I arrived she brought me a box of papers and said "I'm going to need you to not talk today." Oh ...power trip. I let it fall off my shoulders and buckled down to work, but soon her voice rang in my ears again. "I'm going to need you to redo this box again, the paper needs to be after the 5th page this time." This time I was screaming in my head "Then why didn't you tell me that before I did this!" Again, I let it slide. I even brushed off the fact that she told me she wanted to cut my bangs off because they're too long. I let so many things slide, I had a playground. She continued to come into my room every five seconds, and correct me until lunch time.

The day drew to a close and she came in with a sheet for me to sign (in blood) my work (that way if something goes wrong they know exactly who to murder. ) I did, and she released her final blow "Wow, you've got terrible penmanship, no wonder you fail all your tests." I was too stunned to say anything, and exited quickly to my car where I cried on the way home and went over the things I wish I had said back. 'What tests? I've done more in my life then you ever will. Someone once told me your sweaty underarm smell you sported after you went running in the summer made them throw up their lunch.' No, none of these insults would hurt anyone. I stopped at the light and thought 'If I could honestly say anything, it would be that you're the most pathetic excuse for a Christian, and that if I didn't know Christ before I met you, I would rather burn in hell than spend an eternity with you. You make me embarrassed to call myself a Christian after people have met you.' That should be one of the most hurtful things a person could say to a Christian. The fact that someone believes you're so horrible at reflecting God's grace and beauty that they rather suffer eternally than get to know Him should grieve your soul. As the light turned green, I decided this is what I must tell her.

Today when I arrived at work, I found Bernie already in the room. She informed me that she was trading me for the day to train another woman, and that I could go back to working somewhere else. I was beyond relieved. The clock ticked, and as time had made me forgetful of my wounds so many times before I began to forgive Bernie. The printers soon began jamming as they often do, and I asked her if she wanted to see a trick to cleaning them out. She rudely replied " yeah, whatever." I replied alright then, never mind. She looked up and said "I'm really busy but if you want to show me your little trick go ahead, I'll try to listen." That was it! It was my chance, but I just turned and walked away. I decided Bernie cares more about money and her job than reflecting God, so I walked upstairs to her boss' office and began crying. I told her all I could manage to get out. I was hoping to hurt her heart, but she only cares about her pocket.

Oh Lord, let me be a reflection of Your goodness, Your grace, Your mercy.........

The End

The Love of My Skin: Ocean Potion

noreply@blogger.com (Blood in my Eyes) — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 20:51:00 +0000

A few songs I've been digging lately:

1.) Thing About Trouble - Doug Burr

2.) Love During Wartime - The Main Drag

3.) Off Broadway - Ryan Adams

4.) Rip Off - Ryan Adams

5.) Can't Leave Her Behind - Stephen Malkmus/Bob Dylan

6.) Paper Planes - MIA

7.) The Sun Also Sets - Ryan Adams (Everything off of Easy Tiger really.)

8.) Mama You've Been on My Mind - Bob Dylan & Joan Baez/ Jeff Buckley version also.

9.) Across the Universe - The Beatles (I just love this song!)

10.) 'Til the End of Time - Devotchka

I'll leave you with this.

Here's a notion.

'Ocean Potion'.

It gets the world back in motion.

So, stop the commotion,

And grab slather on some of that lotion.

AAAWWW Indubitably.

..I'm a great rapper.

How to Break & Enter: 101

noreply@blogger.com (Blood in my Eyes) — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 18:16:00 +0000

Today I decided to go shoot some photography. I've been scouting out places for months to shoot, and I only came up with one place. I got up early, began to get dressed when something flickered and caught my eyes. I walked outside just briefly to see what it was. Soon the door clicked behind me and I realized I'd just locked myself out in the freezing 20 degree weather. I walked around for a few minutes trying to find an open door, hoping someone was negligent. Alas, no one ever is. Competent people! Geez! I see a metal stick that slightly resembles a crowbar, so I decide to break into my own window. I few seconds later the window is open, but the ledge is too high for me to crawl up on. I decided that the best way to get in would be to get a running start & "Super Man Dive" into the window. So I did. If that wasn't attractive I don't know what is! After successfully flying into my own window, I finished getting ready. I grabbed my keys and went out the door, but soon realized that I left an important camera part behind and also grabbed the wrong pair of keys. We meet again window, I murmured to myself. I was about to repeat my breaking and entering procedure when a neighbor came walking up the driveway. "Do you know who's dog this is?" Crowbar in hand I sleepishly grinned, and said no. She gave me a weird look and went back to her house. I hurried and was on my photography excursion before she could call the police.

Arriving at my destination, I parked my car in front of "Peep's Place Day Care." Nothing weird about that name. I walked around for about 40 minutes, until I couldn't feel my face anymore. I climbed back in my car and went to Wal-Mart: and that is where every good story ends. I'll leave you with few pictures that I liked from today.

That's my sweet ride.

Good Ol' Clarksburg.

It's the Final Countdown.

noreply@blogger.com (Blood in my Eyes) — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 06:26:00 +0000

I made a playlist on my itunes entitled "Top 100 Songs, I Just Happen to Own." It took forever to do this, and this proves I have too much idle time..but if you finish the list you probably have too much time on your hands too!

Now before you get angry because your favorite 1980's hair band isn't on there, or Nirvana, just remember..it's my itunes list and you're more then welcome to go make your own list.

Enjoy.

Title/Artist

1. It's All Over Now Baby Blue- Bob Dylan

2. Love Minus Zero/No Limit- Bob Dylan

3. Like a Rolling Stone- Bob Dylan

4. Yesterday- The Beatles

5. Sweetheart Like You- Bob Dylan

6. Boots of Spanish Leather-Bob Dylan

7. Visions of Johanna- Jack Johnson..no I'm just kidding Bob Dylan.

8. One Too Many Mornings- Bob Dylan.

9. Knocking On Heavens Door- Bob Dylan

10. Things Have Changed- Bob Dylan

11. Nocturne In C-Sharp Minor- Wladyslaw Szpilman

12. Tangled Up In Blue- Bob Dylan

13. Coney Island- Death Cab for Cutie

14. A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall- Bob Dylan

15. A Day in the Life- The Beatles

16. Razor Love- Neil Young

17. Chicago- Sufjan Stevens

18. To Ramona- Bob Dylan

19. Postcards from Italy- Beirut

20. Heart of Gold- Neil Young

21. Father & Son- Cat Stevens

22. Ne Me Quitte Pas- Jaques Brel

23. Firefly- Don Peris

24. Bye- Elliott Smith

25. Elephant Gun- Beirut

26. Georgia On My Mind- Ray Charles

27. Mr. Tambourine Man- Bob Dylan

28. Photobooth- Death Cab for Cutie

29. Son of Sam- Elliott Smith

30. The Only Living Boy in New York- Simon & Garfunkel

31. She Belongs to Me- Bob Dylan

32. Living Forever- Oasis

33. Fake Plastic Trees- Radiohead

34. My Back Pages- Bob Dylan

35. No Rain- Blind Melon

36. Imagine- John Lennon

37. Just Like a Woman- Bob Dylan

38. Mozambique- Bob Dylan

39. Queen Jane Approximately- Bob Dylan

40. The Blower's Daughter- Damien Rice

41. Casimir Pulaski Day- Sufjan Stevens

42. In My Place- Cold Play

43. Glosoli- Sigur Ros

44. Row- Jon Brion

45. You're a Big Girl Now- Bob Dylan

46. Hoppipolla- Sigur Ros

47. All Along the Watch Tower- (Jimi Hendrix version)

48. A Movie Script Ending- Death Cab for Cutie

49. Lover, You Should Have Come Over- Jeff Buckley

50. A Long December- Counting Crows

51. A Simple Twist of Fate- Bob Dylan

52. Impossible Germany- Wilco

53. Mouth full of Cavities- Blind Mellon

54. How It Ends- DeVotchka

55. Redemption Songs- Bob Marley

56. Deloris- Freedy Johnston

57. Breathe Me- Sia

58. Something- The Beatles

59. You've Got to Hide Your Love Away- The Beatles

60. 1979- Smashing Pumkins

61. Bad Reputation- Freedy Johnston

62. Black Cloud O'er Me- Bill Mallonee

63. Bridge Over Troubled Waters- Simon & Garfunkel

64. Virtue & Wine- Sondre Lerche

65. Get Thy Bearings- Donovan

66. Trouble- Ray LaMontagne

67. Natural Blues- Moby

68. Re-Offender-Travis

69. Love is Just a Four Letter Word- Joan Baez

70. Lady Madonna-The Beatles

71. The Ballad of John & Yoko- John Lennon

72. I Found a Reason- Cat Power version

73. Muzzle of Bees-Wilco

74. Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone-Marvin Gaye

75. Range Life-Pavement

76. Someday Soon- Wilco

77. Norwegian Wood- The Beatles

78. Today- The Innocence Mission

79. Jenny Wren-Paul McCartney

80. Everybody Knows- Ryan Adams

81. Wait- The Afters

82. Spirit on the Water- Bob Dylan

83. Strange Condition- Pete Yorn

84. Spit on a Stranger- Pavement

85. Sarah- Damien Jurado

86. Driftwood-Travis

87. Strange Fruit- Billy Holiday

88. No Woman No Cry- Bob Marley

89. Cold Water- Damien Rice

90. The Rescue Blues- Ryan Adams

91. Martha My Dear- The Beatles

92. Brown Eyed Girl-Van Morrison

93. Sea of Love-Cat Power version

94. Company Calls Epilogue- Death Cab for Cutie

95. Bob Dylan's Dream- Bob Dylan

96. Analyze- Thom Yorke

97. You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When you Go- Madeleine Peyroux version

98. Closer- Travis

99. Feeling Good- Nina Simone

100. The Corkflakes Song- Dick Prall

A Short Introduction

noreply@blogger.com (Blood in my Eyes) — Sat, 05 Jan 2008 22:42:00 +0000

I'm sitting in the Ft. Lauderdale airport on my way back from Cap Haitian, Haiti. I'm sitting in row 3 seat 5, gate B5 in terminal 1 to be exact (Hi Mom!) I'm on hour 4 of my 6 hour layover. It's during the 2nd hour after chowing down on my absurdly expensive airport hamburger that I realized this: I have this terrible habit of staring at people. I think it's partly to blame on the fact that I grew up in Haiti and staring at the "blacs" is always in fashion. I'll look at them but it never connects in my mind that they might be like me. I feel that no matter how long I look at them, I can never really identify them. I feel like an alien sent to learn the ways of mankind. Hello species number 85233, show me your worldly customs so that I may live with you in peace. I notice far too many minute things. It's apparent to me that nobody travels alone, and the few that make the attempt have a cell phone glued to their face. I wonder where everyone is going and who they can't leave behind. I see that the woman across from me is lactose intolerant by the marking on the back of her coffee cup. There are three men across from me who have Boston Red Sox sweat shirts on, but based on all of their accents none are actually from Boston. A small girl twirling has a pattern which consist of one full twirl, two half twirls, and another full twirl before dizziness over takes her and she falls. She counts each twirl, "1, 3, uhh 45, 5." I wonder if I have any strange ticks that others notice. All my studying and examinations amount to absolutely nothing because I can't open my mouth to start a conversation. I'm getting better though, today in line at the hamburger joint this lady talked to me for 5 minutes about how she doesn't like when there aren't lids that fit the medium sized cups. I stood there and nodded, and then asked where she was going to. Long Island she said, and thus begins my first successful airport conversation. I hope to become better at the art of human relations, which is one reason I'm starting the blog again. Hello World.